meandhepc

2010-02-21T09:24:00.003Z

once again its been a while since I was last here,so here's a brief summery of it all so far...
In April 09 I went back for the results and the consultation, the endoscopy gave an all clear with no varacies shown, my Allts were 94, HG level was 15.4 and my platlets were 58, so a slight improvement on the last count, then in oct 09 on my second yearly visit a different set of results were shown again.this time they did a more in depth check and the results were ....weight 87.6kg (fat bastard that I am)virol load was 1.1x10>6per ml..ALB 43,billrubin 20,ALTs 53 and platlets 57....next visit is in april 2010!! the indigestion is back as too the nose bleeds(not as bad though) spleen is 1 third bigger as its taking some of the work load off my liver and Ive a row of lumps on my abdomen which are blood vessels being put under presure due the the added work the spleen is doing, but Ive been told not to worry about these !!
Its been a strange time since I was here, mood swings galour, totally not getting on with my partner to the point of she asked if I wanted to seperate and to top it off I found my daughter whom I last saw 30yrs ago !!mad or what ?shes absolutley georgeous and Ime very proud of her, and my 3 new grandchildren and I'm looking forward to getting to know them all .
Friends!! Ive also found old friends that were once , and still are dear to me,and if they find this then they'll know why I am like I am !!hopefully they'll understand and friendships can continue to grow !!.
promiss I wont leave it so long before I come back, and the song I'm going to leave is :Adore by the Smashing pumpkins
See ya !!

2009-02-28T10:30:00.002Z

Good morning Mr Blog,
Just been reading my last Blog...can't believe it was Nov'07 since I was last here,
just shows how totally Lazy I am.
Lots of things have come and gone since last we met, my eldest wrapped his motor bike around a tree and smashed his thigh in 2 places, resulting in 9mths off uni, he's back now and loving it, he's all so done the "student thing" and has moved out of the family home and has rented a house with friends, and the youngest has now taken up going around the local pubs seeing if he and his band can play a set, this has resulted in 3 gigs (unpaid of course, they do it for Beer tokens)but the dream is there, they all want to be Rock stars and have fame fortune and groupies.
2008 was quite stressful !the company I worked for lost the maintenance contract with one of their main "Blue chip" clients,so it was quite a worrying time for everyone, especially with the country in the state its in, but come the November I was transferred under "TUPE" to the group that won the contract, along with most every one else who worked with me, so employment continues, nigh on a case of "Same Shit Different Day !!"
Another thing that still continues is my Bi annually check-ups at the QMC (hospital)the next one is sheduled for this April,when the also want to do an "Endoscopy"(camera down the throat and in to the gullet) to check for Varacies, so nice !!
Anyway, last years results were for April, Liver still the same, no change in the amount of cirrhosis but Spleen swollen to help the Liver cope
ALTS.........94
HG...........15.4
platlets.....58

and for October,
Liver same ,Spleen now 19cm (normal spleen size approx 14cm)
ALTS .......53..(large drop)
HG..........14.3
Platlets.....57
Bilrubin.....13
ALP (alkaline phosphate)..71
ALB(albumin)..41
GGT(gamma gutauyl transferase)..35

It will soon be Summer and festival season ! Cant wait to get the tent out again, the first one is in may at Ashbourne, "The Bearded Weirdy festival", run over 3 days and loads of bands and things to do,Hawkwind are rumoured but as yet not confirmed, but who cares? 3 days of chilling out and Music, going to be loads of people we know going, so it will be a really good time (watch this space!)

See you soon

2007-11-29T19:13:00.000Z

I've not been here for a long time, is it because I've finished tx and nolonger have anything to say ? dont think so.
Come December it will have been 2 years since I was diagnosed with HCV, only differance is I lost a year whilst on tx, other than that, s.n.a.f.u... or perhaps even more so, because in Nov 05 I did'nt know I was ill, life was ( and still is ) good, one really good thing is I now have a lot of diverse friends, there's some good strong people out there, people who know what the score is and can offer support and a shoulder when needed, my friend "M" in Telford is one, we had lunch again on Tuesday in Shrewsbury and I introduced my wife to her...and M to my wife,
M is also the reason I made new friends last week in Manchester, I had actually phoned her to say I couldnt make the Northern gathering, work commitmants would'nt let me, but after driving home I thought "what a chicken", the rest is history and now I've a whole bunch of new friends, good strong northern sorts into good food and nice music.
I had my bi annual tests in October , because of this wonderful bug we've got I have to be tested twice a year, untill that is they invent somthing new to try to eradicate it, any way , the results were
virol load....1.200.000..................a drop of 380.000
platlets.......56.................................a drop of 4
hg.................14.8...........................a rise of 3.2
alts................63

2007-05-29T22:59:00.000+01:00

The Manics were spot on,
Rock city is a small venue compared to some places (nottinghams ice arena) so the place was packed to the rafters, literally, stairs , balconys, every where, people were 10 deep,
the main arena was a sea of bodies, sweating and swaying, no point in trying to move anywhere,
no where to move to, and The Manics took the place by the neck and shook it up, starting off with "We love you (you love us)" 2 new numbers, motorcycle emptyness and more classics,
and the did'nt stop rockin' the place right up to the very end, when they remembered Richie Edwards to every one and played out with "You stole the sun from my heart"......Yep, spot on

My other highlight was the Heppers bash at Chrissies and JBs, a long awaited, and welcomed, oppartunity to put faces to names, allthough I must admit I probably bored the pants off some people, just the process of "introduction" realy, and second time round will be a lot better, will feel more relaxed being in the company of people I now "know"

On that note Im'e going to sign off

Frankie goes to Hollywood....."RELAX"....

2007-05-18T13:36:00.000+01:00

Well its been a long time since I was last here, my minds been a bit numb of late, still the shock of not having cleared.....all those thoughts that go through your head "could I have done anything differn't to have averted the outcome"but the answeres no really, Iv'e lived like a monk,or in the 80s song by the Vapours "turning Japanise"

On April 19 I turned 50, my wife had arranged a "suprise" party, but I got to find out and cancelled, so she just changed venue from the pub to home,it was a nice evening, the weather was fine and it was fun just having the garden full of my little nephews and nieces, kids are great at that age, its when they're older they become a pain..but you wouldnt be without them though.

On may1st I went for an Abdominal scan and got the result of the last blood tests,
The scan showed the liver as being the same as 6mths ago, which is to say that it has had a good rest for the course of the treatment, so the tx was worth it in that respect.
The platlet count was 60, which again is a good result because they started off ta 50 before tx
the hemoglobin was 11.6, which is again good cus I dont bleed like a stuck pig any more, no more nose bleeds for no reason what so ever, but saying that , if your hg levels are below 13 you are clinicly classed as "hemophiliac"
and last of all my virol load is 1.580.030 iv/ml
and I had a reply back from the hospital regarding my request for inclusion on the VX950 trials,
they say that yes I am on the list for "concideration" when the trials begin
so fingers crossed on that one.

For my birthday Sue managed to get a pair of tickets for the Manic street preachers at Nottinghams Rock city for this coming thursday (24th)
she got them off ebay and my Bro inlaws paid for them, for which Im'e eturnally greatful as the gig sold out within mins of going out, so looking forward to that big style,
up dates next week

The other thing thats happening is a "Heppers" get to gether at Swinehead in lincolnshire,
thats tomorrow, among other things its to cellebrate Martin Bs birthday, but Im' looking forward to puting faces to the names of the peep's we talk to

Im' going to leave it at that
untill next time

A whole lotta love!!(led zep)

2007-03-26T17:48:00.000+01:00

Well it all turned out to be true, the virus is back, looks like it only went away for a short break and now its come home.
I went to the Hospital today to see the consultant, every one is kinda surprised, mostly because it looked as if it had been defeated quite early on during tx so its sudden reappearance so soon after finishing the meds was a bit of a shock.
Anyway, the out come is basically "sit and wait"! wait for trials of new meds due for later on in the year, a combination of VX950 and Albuinterferon, which is a fortnightly Interferon injection instead of the present once a week injection, this new combo is aimed at Type 1 hepc and non responders ( strange how Type 3 was thought to be the easiest to eliminate !)
Non responders like me !! people with Geno type 3 and Cirrhosis, because it would appear that its the liver damage that has made the virus able to hang on in there, somewhere for it to hide, it would also appear that the hepc virus is very good at finding immunity from that which wishes to do it harm.
So this new combo (the VX950) was originally developed for HIV but has now been re-engineered for HCV, the idea is it acts on the p7 protein, blocking it from reproducing its self in the liver and cutting down on, or eradicating the damage it does whilst doing so....fingers crossed, eh ? The QMC is one of the hospitals chosen to help trial the treatments, so I think my next move is to write to / Email the Consultant Virologist and formally offer myself up for the trials, that way they will have it on record of my desired availability, and my willingness to participate....

It has been a VERY back breakingly busy week !!!
I took the week off work in order to re-landscape the front garden (with the help of my better half, of course) which meant hiring a "builders skip" in order to remove the turf and sub-soil and level the area, (works out to about 8 or 9 tons of material removed by wheelbarrow and grunt power) next was to lay path edgings to the borders, dig out and lay a concrete base and footings for a porch, mix and spread a layer of 2 inch deep concrete, and proceed to lay 36 sqm of random sized flag stones into the wet concrete, and all of this whilst wondering what the hell I was punishing myself for ??
Any way 1 week later and we're not far off, just a couple of sqm's of flags to lay and point up, decorative aggregate to in-fill the borders and edgings with, and a porch to build, all of which gets done at week-ends and spare time, 'cus enough of trying to kill my self...Ive gone back to work for a rest !!

Good news this week is my eldest has just been accepted into Nottm Uni's School of Nursing for Psychiatry, a 2yr Diploma then a Degree course to specialize in "?" to be decided !

Which just about leaves me at where I want to be at the moment, so my Track to leave you with is quite appropriate really, referring to the first part of this entry,
Lou Reed....."I'me waiting for my man"
Take it easy, And some one "Kill the beastie"

2007-03-10T09:21:00.000Z

It realy has been a strange sort of week this week,Sue has taken a client on holiday to the Costa del sol,( shes a support worker) which has left me and the boys home alone, fending for ourselves,
no bid deal, just making sure the youngest gets out of bed and to school's been the main thing, cus' like any 15 yr old, school's the last thing on his mind.
We went to the pictures on Tuesday night to watch Ghost Rider, the new Marvel comics movie, it was quite good, it was most entertaining and the cgi was excelent, according to my youngest.
There appears to be a couple of Marvel films due out, the new Spider man film looks good,looks to be quite dark.
So, the main thing this week was a call from my virolgy nurse on Wednesday, it would appear that the blood tests taken when I last went to Hospital to take back my unused meds have shown HCV positive ! it would seem the virus is back, or at least it maybe, Iv'e to go back on Tuesday for more tests, hopefully its a "false positive" and the new tests will show I'me still neg.
My nurse said this is most unusual, as its only happend at the QMC twice before, (the virus coming back so soon after finishing treatment) and that when re tested one of them was neg !, so a 50/50 chance then, my possitive test was taken just 4 1/2 days after compleating treatment.
So, as I said, my wife's on Holiday and dose'nt come back untill Sunday afternoon, she dose'nt know about this yet, welcome home dear !
On the plus side I've just learned to use the washing machine, so it will look like ive been busy being industrius, then do the shoping and by flowers for her ! aint that sweet any way, sitting here wont get things done, so I'll be back...watch this space

Track of the day...."Here I stand before me"....
The Crash test dummies

2007-02-27T14:11:00.000Z

10 days into post meds
================
Its been 10 days now since the last of my meds, strange times too!
At first I couldn't sleep because my head was full of "What if's",
what if it doesn't work? what if the virus comes back ?etc,etc but you've got to reject these thoughts, otherwise it'll just do your head in, and after talking it over with my wife we came to the conclusion that if such bridges need to be crossed then we will wait until we reach them.
The first 7 days I didn't really feel that much of a change, my nurse said that was because my body was just building up to its Friday night injection, but the last couple of days I have started to feel a big difference, although I do start to feel really tired in the afternoons.
We went to see my Nurse last Wednesday, to take back unused meds and have my monthly tests; It was quite a sad occasion, she has been part of our life for so long now that it was like saying goodbye to a close family member, she's leaving the QMC to take up a position in Dublin,
so I'll be dealing with another nurse for my 3 and 6 monthly tests, she's nice too!
they all are, I've had wonderful support throughout this last year, from my wife , the nurses and specialists and all my family, they have made the "medicine " a lot easier to swallow and the year a lot easier to live through, Thanks every one !!

So, from "Talking Heads 77---Happy days"

2007-02-08T20:00:00.000Z

Me and me bitch !!
=============

I'd like to introduce you to me Bitch, someone asked on the hep c forum if having a pet can help you through tx, well the answer is probablly yes.
My dog is called Megan, she's a Staffordshire Bull Terrior and she's as soft as muck ! if someone were to make a fuss of her just a micron more than I do then she would happly go off with them.
She likes going for walks in the woods early in the mornings, trying to chase Rabbits which dissapear down holes, much to her consternation, or for walks over the fields where all she wants to do is chase a ball, trying to get the ball back off her is another matter though.
Meg is 9 years old, scared of her own shadow, and is a totally loving dog, unfortunatly Staffie's have an unjust reputation, so please remember......its the owner, not the dog!!

2007-02-03T13:07:00.000Z

not long now
Good afternoon all, the last time I sat and did this I had 11 shots to go!!
Well last night was shot no 46, so 2 more to go and then I can hang up my Boots, so to speak.
What will I do with my self on Friday evenings ? or in the mornings and night times when I reach for the capsules ? Perhaps I'll have to get a hobby, or start taking the dog out more often.
Anyway, over the last 8 weeks things have remained relatively the same, ups, downs, good days and bad days, I still continue to aggravate those closest to me, whilst the only one who wants my company for 24/7 is the dog ! who's lying at my feet as we speak.
The festive season and the new year was a relatively quiet affair, we did'nt have loads of people around and we did little visiting.
In October I made the Xmas cake, which was absolutely loaded with Brandy, but I reasoned that by Xmas it would be safe to eat, and it was absolutely scrummie !! consequently it did'nt last long, and it was a big 9" diameter cake too.
I still continue to work, which has helped to keep me together in a round about sort of way, although frustration at sometimes getting things wrong can be a bit much, it can sort of make me a bit emotional and feel somewhat helpless(or hopeless, one of the two)the good thing is part of my contract area is North Wales,
so when I stay over, and the sites are closed at 4pm, before having dinner at which ever hotel I'm in I go for walks along the coast line or up in the mountains,(the latter can be a bit energetic, so the walks never last long)and to sit and look at the snow on Snowden, or out over the sea goes an awful long way in helping me to unwind.
The image I've added is of the coast line along the Llewn Peninsula, its a really nice area with lots of places to explore..abandoned granite miners villages, iron age settlements-still marked out with in boulders.
Any way, going now ..see you later

track of the week
Manic street preachers......."If you tolerate this then your children will be next"
I know its about the Spanish civil war, but it relates to anything in a decent society,

2006-12-02T13:31:00.000Z

11 more to go and still kicking
------------------------------

A happy Saturday to every one,
Went to the hospital on Wednesday to get my supplies and blood tests etc, the results of last months tests were....Platelets remain the same at 103 and HG levels have gone up to 10.9.
and Iv'e got an appointment for Wed13 for a Liver scan, apparently these are done every 6 months, but this one is 3 months over due, at least its being kept an eye on. Strangly enough though I dont think Iv'e actually been told the extent of the damage to my Liver, when ever Iv'e asked the answer seems to be " you are cirrotic, and from the extent of the damage you have had hep c, along with what you have told us, since early to mid 70s", so 30 years of being eaten from the inside, another thing I was told was that due to the extent of the damage I would have to have a scan and check ups every 6 months for the rest of my life, to make sure my Liver wasn't worse and that I was now open to liver cancers, makes you think, does'nt it !
Went to the docs the other day to renew a script for sleepers, what a palarver that was,
she said she did'nt want to have to ween me off the things when my meds were compleat,
I had to convince her that I was taking half a tablet maybe twice a week just so I was getting at least some sleep, that the tx was now keeping me awake, and if I did'nt sleep at night I could'nt function efficently at work, another effect of this of course is if I can't sleep then I keep Sue awake too, and a disgruntled wife is one to be avoided !!
Iv'e taken "leave owed"so I'me off work from now untill mon 11th, Sues off too, so we plan some shopping trips, lunches out with friends, Visit the Farmers market in Lichfield and go to Long Clawson ( the home of Stilton) to get a cheese for christmas.
11 more injections to go, and things are still good, no real bad side effects any more, unless you want to count sleeplessness and the desire to scratch myself untill I bleed(which also keeps Sue awake) so all's good and I can't complain, got a week off work then back for 2 weeks and off for 2 weeks for crimbo, can't be bad !

Take it easy folks and keep smiling
My track to leave you with today, because were all getting there, is Muddy Waters" Got my mojo working"

2006-11-15T19:07:00.000Z

masks and me?!!
++++++++++++
been thinking about the mask situation, and I've come to realise I've never
really stopped wearing one over the last few months.
People say "how are you? your looking well",and you reply with "yep, fine,
feeling allright really"and I've now convinced myself that I do feel OK,
so much so that I actually do feel OK (most of the time)
I used to be in to Real ale, Adnams,Theakstons,Timothy Taylor,etc and
another thing I get asked is "when can you have a drink again?"
Well, Sue usually answers that one for me before I get to open my mouth.
We now have 7 types of Tea in the cupboard, from Yorkshire breakfast tea
to Chinese green and herb teas called "Tranquility,"which I drink with a
spoon of honey at bedtime,they dont work, I still sometimes reach for the
sleepers.

I've decided to include a photo, it was taken 2 years ago at my graduation, a year before I went to the docs with chronic indigestion and walked out with hep c, I've decided to show me, my face of hep c ! because the idea of it being a junkie disease, like hiv was a gay disease, needs to be debunked, and the more of us that shout it out the better, so there.

Folks I am now on count down, 14 more injections to go, the last one of which is on Feb the 16/2007, aint that cool!!! and 2months after that, on April 19, I will be 50, scarey, what ! going to have to do something to mark my half centuary on this planet, perhaps become a "born again biker"and get a Triumph Rocket 3, or sell the house and get a camper van,me and sue,wont tell the kids though, they can find out when the come home from school/work and find someone else living here

Anyway folks, my track to leave you with is for every one in the hep c community and any one who needs a shoulder to lean on,....The Beatles,...With a little help from my friends

Take it easy, kill the Beast, and BLOODY smile while your doing it.......Cheers

2006-11-03T19:02:00.000Z

Some sort of memory laspe
+++++++++++++++++++
Well folks,
on Wednesday I went to the Hospital for my monthlies, as per normal,
blood tests over, just chatting away;
"So, this is week 28 to 32 then, just another 4 more months of supplies to
go after this one"
" er, your a bit wrong there Steve, this is week 32 to 36, so you've only 3
more lots to go"
Well, imagine my delight at being told Im'e closer to finishing then I thought I
was.
This stuff does strange things to your head ! still, better to forget really, or
at least for a short while.
The dog is going mad, barking and running around, fireworks going of every
where, so folks, got to go, time to eat, do my meds, and then do nowt.

Results this month were........Platelets at 100
HG at 10
liver function good ?

Keep smiling folks, and dont let any thing get you down.

Optomistic song of the month
Hawkwinds "Hurry on sundown see what tomorrow brings"

Going to see a band tomorrow at the Rescue rooms in Notts
"The two Gallants" check them out if you can, well worth a listen

Kill the beatsie...............Luv ya. steve

2006-10-20T21:10:00.000+01:00

Week 27
and in the words of Simon & gruffness
"feelin groovy"
Well folks, its been 7 weeks since I last visited "ya",and a mighty lot of water has flowed under the bridge.
I've decided IM not going to write whinging "IMO so tired me heads just exploded" type of entries, IMO going to "be Smiley happy people" from now on,(cus' the misses says so) .
Different types of therapies we have been tryng are,
:Shopping therapy
she shops and I nod in agreement ; "'does my bum look big in this ?'What ? the shop"
so she bought a camera,Fuji S9000,quite good,bit complicated,like an SLR,9mil pixels,dam good photos.
:Holiday therapy
"Right,lets take the camera to Mallorca to try it out,you,ya miserable git,you need a holiday""yes dear"......."know what?she was right"
So, next thing she's on the web and a week later we're driving down to east mids to catch a plane for a family break,
me and the youngest swimming in a sea as clear as tap water,and the fish swimming in front of you,the sun and sea water doing wonders for my skin,
I have been feeling a bit up and down, especially when tired,but you've got to grin and bear it !the usual skin rashes, fatigue and bouts of maudlin melancholy, but ! ???

BUT, and I mean BUT !!!!! I've had a second negitive result !!!
How good is that ???
So i'me going to end on that fantastic note,and sign off

And here's a great song to end with
The Small Faces
"Lazy Sunday afternoon"
cus I've just had 7 d

2006-09-01T16:31:00.000+01:00

Some how Ifound energy
++++++++++++++++++
over the last weekend I found energy and managed to rebuild a
rockery wall,(with help from eldest and brother in law) which
ment moving 5 ton of stone(right big lumps)mixing a ton of sand
and 5 bags of cement,and rebuilding the wall,but by monday
evening I felt like I'd taken a bit of a kicking!

Someone else who's taken a kicking is my wife, my Rock !
Shes been very low lately,its been her "Anis Horribilis"

what with me,Alevel season and a hormonally chalanged 14
year old,life sort of sucks lately,
and I thought it was me that was living behind a mask !hiding
thoughts and emotions,telling people I was fine and feeling OK,
when I really feel like shit and can't be bothered with anything.
When I go into the office I get questions such as "You've lost
weight !is it deliberate ?" Salad season is my reply

Anyway,my wife has been living behind a mask too,and its started
to slip,so I must look after her more,be more attentive,flowers and
such(ANY IDEAS OUT THERE help wanted)

I went for my monthly hospital visit on wednesday and had the
full tests,but apparently the labs are backed up and I won't get
the results untill next month,so I won't know if the little beasties
are still absent for another 4weeks "But of course they'r going
to be !!"so I just came away with a carrier bag full of life
saving goodies
Anyway,going to go now,cus' today's friday and in 20 mins Ime
due my injection............such fun to be had !!!!

Song of the month folks ,from Iggy Pops 1990 album"Brick by
Brick"track 6 "The undefeated"
because we are the undefeated !!
Keep on truckin
see ya !!

2006-08-11T19:37:00.000+01:00

weeks 17.18.19.and today,20
Pathways

I am a firm believer in that...............
"every step you take ,and every pathway you tread,leads you to where you are now"
There is no escaping our present,we can tweak it and we can play with it, but in the end events we started way back cannot be altered.
I know how I got here ! and I know that the path I now walk will lead me to my future !

A question I asked on my last signing in was "how long do you continue with tx after testing negative ?"
Well,folks the wonderful people at the QMC have told me I'm NEGATIVE ,,,,,
fantastic,absolutley fantastic !!!and the answer to my question is "Full term"
because of my cirrhosis they want me to go the whole 48 weeks

I knew I was going to have to go 48,but to be told so was still a bit of a smack in the chops,as all of a sudden there was this bit of a glimmer ,No more poisens,no more downers,no more emotional turmoil...never mind ,just bite the bullet.
I AM NEGATIVE !!!!!AND THAT BOUGHT THE BIGGEST TEAR TO MY EYE EVER
I am half way through the tunnel and I can see the light at the other end
and if all you other people are strong enough to take this journey,,,,then so am I
Any way its Friday and I've not long done the deed,so time to go and stretch out in front of the telly
I'll love you and leave you
Remember "Kill the beastie"and keep the faith

A line from the best song ever

"Remember when you were young,you used to shine like the sun...........Shine on you crazy diamond"
Keep SHINING people

2006-07-18T19:22:00.000+01:00

Slow slow quick quick slow
*************************
Iwent to see my brother in the QMC,he'd been moved from ICU to the cardiac care unit,he was a bit disoriented but at least on the mend,so that was good news.
I'd just come from seeing my favorite nurse as it happens,so I was all loaded up with my monthly supplies,and digesting the latest info she had just imparted.
The reason i'me so tired and irritable is my HG has dropped to 9;
but the good news is that my platelets have reached an all time high of 120 !Good or what ?
My viral load has dropped slightly and my saviour tells me that next month could be really good news ! Which is nice. I cant wait to be normal (or as normal as i've ever been)
So if I show negative next time ,the question is , How far do we take the tx ?
She seems to think that my consultant will want to go the full term because of my cirrhosis.
I hate feeling shit and emotionaly round the bend,and i've lost more weight,another 1/2 stone,there will be nowt left of me soon,except this rash on my arms and ankles(but boy does it feel good to scratch-when the missus isnt watching)
Anyway, no matter how long it takes,or how much more of this crap I've got to keep pumping in to me ,lets kill this bug !
UP UP AND AWAY !!!!!!!!!!!
See ya folks

2006-07-09T08:32:00.000+01:00

injections 14,15,16
****************
Where's my head at?
Its been really strange this last few weeks,the working week has dragged on,like someone has slipped in a few extra days,by Wednesday your wishing it was Friday,and then your shoulders slump when you realize there's 2 more days to go.
I was commenting to Sue (my wife) when she asked how I was feeling one Saturday morn,I said I dont know ,things seem to have dropped off and I was wondering if the Interferon still held the same power,was the tx still working as effectively?.
She said she'd read Hepcboys blog cover 2 cover,and he had said something similar she also expressed an admiration for his positiveness and strength,.....we can all learn from each other !
Where is my head at ? what's happening with my emotions ?
I dont care about Labour's sycophantic brown nosing with the same passion as I once did, or still ought to, or Israel's internment and destruction of Palestine while America watches on and applauds .I once said to my brother in law that the Israelies had learned a valuable lesson at the hands of the Nazis and were now intent on applying it to the Palestinians , he agreed ,he doesnt often agree with my politics.They now have their own Berlin wall and their own Warsaw ghetto.....such actions are going to reverberate through the western world , but this we know !
And lastly,but most importantly on the emotion front,my younger brother yesterday suffered a heart attack,and he's now in ICU at the QMC,how are we supposed to feel when these things happen?am I dysfunctional in my "apparent "lack of concern?.......we all handle things differantly.
When I was first told about my problems all those weeks ago,I sort of gave a small laugh and said "oh well such is life"the doctor couldnt belive it,she said "this is serious..this is life or death"..and I thought for a moment she was going to cry.
I do have emotions,somewhere,the birth of my boys was the most wonderous thing,
and whenever one of our rabbits or cats died(after a long and happy life)I cried like a baby !
so somewhere in here there's still a heart thats warm,perhaps in the weeks to come it will show its self again.
I will go and see my brother in the week,when things have settled down.
There's a song linked to the hep c forum by a Norwich rapper ,its about his mom and her experiance of hep c ,its called "I am not my disease";I would like to say , after writing todays jurnal,"Iam not my disease......but am I the tx ???"

Results time of last months tests next week,watch this space!!!

2006-06-19T18:27:00.000+01:00

Injection 12 and 13
*******************
Just been reading some blogs and I realize Ive got a long way to go yet,
although I was'nt expecting it to be over in a couple of weeks anyway,allways new I'de got the long haul.
So,went to the Isle of wight rock festival a couple of weeks ago,"fantastic",Richard Ashcroft,the Prodigy and the Primal Scream did it for me ,not to mention of course "Mr Lou Reed".
Anyway,I did'nt want to be on a bummer that week end , so instead of no12 on the friday,Isaved it untill we got back on the monday.
The injections were getting quite good?,but that one sent me straight back to bad flu symptoms and put me on my back for a day or two,which is when the tears came,"dam these emotions",does your head in
My nurse said stagger no13 , do it on the saturday and then the following week you can return to friday(Iprefer to be "poorly"at weekends,and try for some sembalance of normality during the working week)
Woke up sunday morn and thought "great,no symptoms",till I got up.
Felt like an Iron band had been clamped around my chest,and this dry rasping cough which I'de been nurturing for the last 3 months felt as if it was about to shoot my lungs straight out of my mouth,and today I've been up and down,feeling as sick as a pig and a bit grumpy too,but never mind eh !,such things are sent to try us!
Ihave decided that my favorite song is the Pythons "always look on the bright side of life"
See ya !!

2006-06-17T15:08:00.000+01:00

Well,Idont do doctors,never have done,but at the beginning of last December I had some really bad indegestion that went on for about a week ,and no amount of Rennies or what ever would touch it.So the missus dragged me to the doc's,and thats where it starts. 2 days later the phone rings,"That blood sample I took, I need you and your wife to come to see me right away"So down we trot.
It appeared Ive a platelet count of 50,and my Liver was showing some strangeness.
For the next 3 weeks we thought I had cancer because no one was saying any thing,and they'd pushed for an urgent appointment at the QMC.
After that came loads of tests,"trans jugular biopsy,endscopy,Xrays and scans and they took more blood than I thought it possible for one arm to hold.
The results were -platlet count of 50,virol load 221.083,HG 14.4,HCV type 3,and as it appeared I'd had the virus since the mid 70s I was also cirrotic.
I am now starting week 13 of tx today,and I save my injection (180mg peg interferon) untill a few hours before bedtime,the 1200mg riboviron split twice a day,morn and night.
Its been one hell of a roller coaster ride,with more downs then ups,Icant be bothered to take the dog out any more (I get short of breath and tired)in fact I cant be bothered to do much of anything,except get on at my youngest for the slightest thing,which is so unfair,we've told him its the meds i'me taking for my liver problems thats causing my bad head space,he seems to understand.
I have decided to do this log after hearing the play on R4 the other week,it was like a ray of light"there are others too,people who are going through the same as me,I'me not alone "
I've never been alone really,my wife is a tower of strength and my family and friends are very supportive,but knowing others share the same pain and can burst into tears for nothing when feeling low,that its not just me that feels as if I'me cracking up,this helps!
My last test results (april)were good,platlets have gone up to 94,virol load dropped to 176.146,HG had dropped to 9.9 but had climed to 11,and I'de lost over a stone this last 8 weeks,but "Hey"I've managed to put 2lbs back on.
I will get the results of May's tests in 2weeks,hopefully they will continue to improve