Slow slow quick quick slow
*************************
Iwent to see my brother in the QMC,he'd been moved from ICU to the cardiac care unit,he was a bit disoriented but at least on the mend,so that was good news.
I'd just come from seeing my favorite nurse as it happens,so I was all loaded up with my monthly supplies,and digesting the latest info she had just imparted.
The reason i'me so tired and irritable is my HG has dropped to 9;
but the good news is that my platelets have reached an all time high of 120 !Good or what ?
My viral load has dropped slightly and my saviour tells me that next month could be really good news ! Which is nice. I cant wait to be normal (or as normal as i've ever been)
So if I show negative next time ,the question is , How far do we take the tx ?
She seems to think that my consultant will want to go the full term because of my cirrhosis.
I hate feeling shit and emotionaly round the bend,and i've lost more weight,another 1/2 stone,there will be nowt left of me soon,except this rash on my arms and ankles(but boy does it feel good to scratch-when the missus isnt watching)
Anyway, no matter how long it takes,or how much more of this crap I've got to keep pumping in to me ,lets kill this bug !
UP UP AND AWAY !!!!!!!!!!!
See ya folks

injections 14,15,16
****************
Where's my head at?
Its been really strange this last few weeks,the working week has dragged on,like someone has slipped in a few extra days,by Wednesday your wishing it was Friday,and then your shoulders slump when you realize there's 2 more days to go.
I was commenting to Sue (my wife) when she asked how I was feeling one Saturday morn,I said I dont know ,things seem to have dropped off and I was wondering if the Interferon still held the same power,was the tx still working as effectively?.
She said she'd read Hepcboys blog cover 2 cover,and he had said something similar she also expressed an admiration for his positiveness and strength,.....we can all learn from each other !
Where is my head at ? what's happening with my emotions ?
I dont care about Labour's sycophantic brown nosing with the same passion as I once did, or still ought to, or Israel's internment and destruction of Palestine while America watches on and applauds .I once said to my brother in law that the Israelies had learned a valuable lesson at the hands of the Nazis and were now intent on applying it to the Palestinians , he agreed ,he doesnt often agree with my politics.They now have their own Berlin wall and their own Warsaw ghetto.....such actions are going to reverberate through the western world , but this we know !
And lastly,but most importantly on the emotion front,my younger brother yesterday suffered a heart attack,and he's now in ICU at the QMC,how are we supposed to feel when these things happen?am I dysfunctional in my "apparent "lack of concern?.......we all handle things differantly.
When I was first told about my problems all those weeks ago,I sort of gave a small laugh and said "oh well such is life"the doctor couldnt belive it,she said "this is serious..this is life or death"..and I thought for a moment she was going to cry.
I do have emotions,somewhere,the birth of my boys was the most wonderous thing,
and whenever one of our rabbits or cats died(after a long and happy life)I cried like a baby !
so somewhere in here there's still a heart thats warm,perhaps in the weeks to come it will show its self again.
I will go and see my brother in the week,when things have settled down.
There's a song linked to the hep c forum by a Norwich rapper ,its about his mom and her experiance of hep c ,its called "I am not my disease";I would like to say , after writing todays jurnal,"Iam not my disease......but am I the tx ???"

Results time of last months tests next week,watch this space!!!